Saturday, December 27, 2014

Concoction of Clandestine Crematorium

My biggest fear is no one ever truly love me or care about me. And it's probably happening right now, fast and unexpected. Maybe I did see it coming. Maybe I deserve it. I have a beloved special person and I know I am taking her for granted. I wish I am more reliable in my current condition. A healthy adult ,everything suppose to be possible,within my reach and the world is mine for the taking.Lately and chronically I have not feeling too well,or too happy. All my mistake and regret seem to come my way and I find myself trying hard to cope with every mental trauma that keep resurging from the shadow of the past. It's constant and it hurt. It hurt so much and I need to learn not to let this rage and disappointment control me. Looking back, happiness is a queer and foreign word. Everything I done seem to haunt me in my darkest hour. I tried. I didn't make it. I keep wanting more. Bitter with every unfulfilled craving. I wish I was somebody else. Happy doing cool stuff and living the dream of many. But don't believe everything I say because this is the depression talking, and not me.

No end has better beginning