:B

Uh… Just a simple blog trade with Eddy ~.~ The dude that type blog, ohohohoho just the same as me. So? So here’s my shitty lair http://crystal-chronicles.blogspot.com/

Guess something. I’m the worst typist in the world. I can’t type good words and literature-ish like William Shakespeare did. Even though I never fail English in school, I still consider myself sucks, since the only thing – I think – I’m good at is drawing –

- Oh and cosplay too! I just love them, but people in Malaysia are so close-minded. Whenever they saw cosplayers, they thought they’re seeing a bunch of walking clowns. Plus if you’re super noob at it, people tend to make fun of you and laugh at you FROM BEHIND. And yeah of course, you won’t get any attention at all.

Many cosplayers of course experienced this especially during their first time. My first time was supposed to be around 2007. But please forget that, assume I started cosplaying on 2009. That time was Comic Fiesta 2009 and my first day cosplaying was Mina Hazuki from Darker than Black Ryuusei no Gemini along with Yumi, Suzu, Yunfa, Len, Uruha-sama and Itou. Yumi was cosplaying TYL (Ten years later) Dokuro Chrome from Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Len was Sheryl Nome from Macross Frontier, Yunfa was Mikuru (uh what’s the full name again? I hope I got that right) from Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Suzu was Hei from Darker than Black (yeah Suzu and I cosplayed from the same anime – except that mine was from the season two – and she’s my twin) Uruha-sama was Shiki from Togainu no Chi (was it?) and Itou… I never figured out till now, I just know he wore Akira’s military uniform, Akira is from Togainu no Chi; and Itou is Uruha-sama’s little brother.

Yeah that was boring to read, right?

Unfortunately, instead of having fun, ALL of us sat at our booth, we sold stuffs. I just did commissions and Suzu helped me. The others, Len sold badges, Yumi sold her bookmarks, the others I didn’t know, well, STUFFS.

Only Yumi, Suzu and I were present the next day and opened the booth like eleven till three pm, cuz we were damn exhausted. Itou later joined us as the military Allen Walker (Allen is from D-Gray.Man ß If I spelled that right), he wore Akira’s military uniform with Allen’s wig LOL. Lucky him he never looked noob at all when cosplaying.

And again, that was bored to read.

SO skip of story, this year 2011, Shuu and I are planning for some cosplays to do, we’re gonna do Helios and Luna from Helios Eclipse for Comic Fiesta 2011, featuring some people to be the other characters, yeah will be a group cosplay. I’m gonna be Helios and Shuu’s gonna be Luna. I’m not sure if I can do the girl Ranma (Ranma 1/2), Kagamine Len (Vocaloid) and the nurse (Silent Hill) as requested. Somehow I think I can’t do all that because Shuu and I were planning to cosplay Pandora Hearts during one of the day of Comic Fiesta 2011. Yeah all that requests are due to the same event. The event is just 2 days walao weh people! You want me to work to death eh?! I’m not that rich you know.

Uhm. My parents’ doesn’t really like me cosplaying. They think it’s a waste of time and money and you can’t produce money from it. Dad thinks I’m a freak by cosplaying and making friends with people with such kind of hobbies. They want me to stop cosplaying and start a reality life, that there are other lots of priceless hobbies in this world –

- Well I love to draw. That’s my hobby too –

“Besar-besar nanti jangan jadi pelukis, susah cari makan.”

Yeah that’s what they said. In case you don’t know Malay language, just go google it you fucking piece of shit. Well to be honest, they never support my talent and what I love and like. Yeah dad’s a businessman and mom’s a lecturer, both also make lots of money. They are intelligent and genius people, so of course they expect me to be like them.

Except that I am not.

They want me to be like them, but I’m damn happy with my hobbies and making friends with the same interest. It’s not like my hobby is smoking or taking drugs or something. I never do anything bad; I didn’t interfere with their lives. I just make friends, share stuffs and be happy. If I never do this, I don’t think I’ll able to make friends and end up where I am now. My drawings go global, and the world sees it. I do cosplays with a bunch of amazing people and all of them are warm people and accept me as who I am.

You, mom and dad. Dad, you fail to make me feel at home. Mom, I have life :B

I maybe alienating myself from the others in the house. But I don’t ALWAYS SIT IN FRONT OF THE LAPTOP AND GO OUT PHOTOSHOOTING (or event).

Get over it.

Less than three.

Blog Trade

Oh my..I've been blogging for quite a few while now. And I have 50 post in my blog now.

Wow..What just happened? W-wh-what?

I have 50 post... 

Come again?

I have 50 post. 

Wow,w-wh-when did that happened?

I got 50 F*CKING post!! Hell yeah!!

That's a lot....

So,obviously thank YOU, you reading this. Unless you never read my blog before, which in case, hi I'm Keough. Nice to meet you.

But in all probability you read my blog already.

obviously not my drawing.....

I started blogging since October last year, so I've been blogging for a whole (count count with fingers and apply theorem Pythagoras and Plank constant with adjustment to current market gold price)............ 5 months! Yes,calculating blogging time require knowledge in mathematics, physics and economic.(Someone who wear bra teach me all this calculation and her name is Yoona SNSD a.k.a not-bra-less-person )

Enough about bra-crap. I thought I should celebrate somehow. Those VVIP club members who have blog please be inform that I will give free I-phone like to Blog-trade with you. Those interested parties better hurry coz I'm like only gonna accept 3 blog trade (or maybe more....).

Keough,what the hell is a blog-trade??

Simply,you write something for my blog,and I write something for your blog. Sound interesting, doesn't it?

Those who want to do blog-trade, leave a bra comment below  :D

How To Be Funny

When someone have no money, you tell him...
"pergi jual badan"

When someone sleep late at night,you say..
"jangan tido lewat..nanti hantu datang"

When you want to refer to someone
" Bangsat,tu pergi mana?"

When someone offer you a non-alcoholic drink such as Milo or Neslo or Iced Tea
"Sorry' I'm driving" and make a hand gesture like you holding a stering

When someone have low-standard taste
"Taste anjing la kau ni"

When someone ask who do that thing or whatever,like
a: who eat my nasi goreng ?
b : "Your Mama~!"
a : $%#!@*!

When someone want to make you piss off, use an angry tone and say
"kau jangan buat sampai aku menangis"

When someone said he have something?
A: aku suka pakai baju merah
B: sejak bila kau pakai baju?

or

A : motor aku rosak lar
B :  kau ada motor ke?

Even Obama laugh at my joke :D

When someone ask
A: kau nak pergi mana?
B: aku nak pergi clubbing

When you want to tell them you have a lot of sin and not religious
"aku pergi masjid nak sembahyang jumaat,aku terbakar.."

When someone ask where are you from..
A: kau tinggal kat mana?
B: aku tinggal kat Malaysia...
A: %$#@!

When someone is ugly:
"muka kau cam bontot tenuk"

When someone say something you don't understand
"Apa kau mencarut nie? "

When someone say something crappy
"Kau demam ke hari ni?"

When someone is in front of the laptop,you say
"Ha, tengok blue! kantoi" 
 

Now go spread STD  the laugh~

Awesome!

How To Be Cool Like Keough

1. never eat vegetable and spicy food
2. get heartbroken by bitches more than 10 times
3. become a big fan of pole dancing
4. blame Jews for every shit that happened
5. sell your roommate nude photo online
6. hate Justin Bieber for no reason
7. have PMS every morning
8. Sleep 20 hours a day

I'm so awesome, eminem kiss my ass every week

9. catch flying llama as hobby
10. have small genital
11. have orgasm every time you see Ip Man poster or futsal court
12. practice Shaoilin Kung Fu on your younger brother
13. Donate money to Celcom rm10 a day

Thanks for reading today's episode of Apple Fu*king Waffle Chill out.I'm Keough and I am fu*king awesome.

Promoting Shit

This person named Neuro..(NOT that  Nero CD Burner) a.k.a coolest artist evarr...he draw the most beautiful shit. I witness his growth and been admiring his work from day one he start using Deviant Art. (if you don't know what is Deviant Art, we cannot be friends anymore) .I totally love his work and stuff, always awe me with his masterpiece. (and I half-wished I could have sharingan so I could copy his drawing skill) 

Go stalk his blog,deviantart, whatever.  I could even smuggle his underwear to you if you want. (don't forget to stalk Keough too) He also have this-so-called -proud-application-he-joined named Twitter. (he is so proud of Twitter, I bet he die if Twitter close) (and I wonder how much $$$ Twitter pay him to promote Twitter zzz)

I would love to produce a sample of his drawing in my blog, but due to Nero stingy-nature unforeseen circumstances,it wont be shown in my blog. However, I'm providing the link.

free small size banner from his blog,see my point,so stingy with his artwork  OTL zzz

click below for 

AWESOME ARTWORK EVARR!

p/s: Nero,this is not a bribe..but please treat me more food ;w;  (Keough is having economic crisis)

Unisexual Test

Man : How faggot are you?
Girl : How Cute Are You?

1. Use excessive emoticon on public (1 point)
2.  act childish to the point people want to f-ck fishing slap you  (1 point)
3. Wear pink stuff like watch,shirt,car (1 point)
4. Read girly manga (1 point)
5. listen to West Life or others love song (1 point)
6. Listen Justin Bierber (1 point)
7. Like girly cartoon like powerpuff girl and sailormoon (1 point)
8. Like muscular dude (1 point)
9. Talk like a girl ( 8 points)
10. Don't read Apple Waffle (1 point)
11. Sleep with teddy bear/cute pillow (1 point)

If you get more than 1 point,you are officially a faggot/cute-girl.

This girl got 11 points..OMG so cute..

Thanks for reading today's episode of Apple Waffle. Chill out, I'm Keough and entering woman toilet by mistake is not cool at all.(Keough put paper bag on head)

Say What?

I notice that some humans/KL-people-wannabe/Rojak-Talker mix English and BM in a sentence in their daily conversation. I find this really darn annoying and make me feel like want to frigging choke them. For example :

"For this year,keluarga saya  masak 400 ketul ketupat"

"Even without drug, dia masih boleh berfungsi dengan normal."

"Kalau aku buat macam tu , I takut she will be upset."

What in the name of "roti-canai-telur-bawang-banyak" is these???? What kind of horror is this??  Why are they like this? What do they simply gain by talking like this and irritating other people in the process? Is that so that it show they are sophisticated? Sophisticated my foot.  Or they want to show people they are from KL. (cakap KL) I bet even KL people don't talk like they do.The only thing they gain is my disrespect and a mouthful of nag in my damn blog. Drat you, Rojak-Talker!! 

It's funny that these Rojak-Talker talk like KL people when they are actually from JB,KB, and other random-Bharu-Town. Let say they talk like KL-people and they really do come from KL, then it is acceptable,to me at least.

Kl-peopel-wannabe have polluted this beautiful city,no wonder people are jumping off the building more often

I guess it's ok and normal if you mix one English word in a BM sentences like :

"Wei,kau bila nak download drama korea itu?"
"Kau cuba call Prof Zero,tanya pasal kelas kita esok."
"Pinjam jap handphone kau"

But,it's FUNNY when you mix one BM word in a English sentence like :

" I am so not cekap in driving car"
" Will when you stop kacau me?"
"Where is the penyapu?"

So the conclusion is , it's funny when you add BM word in English sentence but normal when it's the other way around...

Thanks for reading today's episode of Apple Waffle Chill out, I'm Keough and my dad need to see a psychiatrist.

Properties Of God

Your body is not yours, it's God.

My body is not really mine,it's God. God borrow it to me. Let say you have a car (we all know you don't even have driving license yet, and even if you do, your driving an ugly car), that car is not really yours,(even thought you already have fully paid the monthly installment and have your name on the car road tax). Your car belong to God, it's just that God borrow it specifically to you, and you alone. (But that doesn't mean you could not share your PSP to me) Not me, not your friend or your cousin's neighbor's step brother's ex-girlfriend's mom, God borrow it specifically to YOU. If god want his car back, he can take it anytime anyplace. The fact that you still driving it because God still want you to take care the car for him (remember to change the engine oil  every 7500 mile).

We are at mercy of God

God give you good food everyday, basically your meal are given by god. God quench your thirst when you are thirsty, feed you when you are hungry, give you love when you are lonely, give you cloth so you won't get cold. Just imagine if you have no cloth and have to use box to protect your modesty? (well,not that people want to look at your  junk anyway)

God give me the love of a twin I never have,and he take it back. It's okay. I am sad buts it's okay, I'm grateful God bless me with the time, and I'm sure something better will come along next time as long as I learn from the past. I'm sure repeating the same mistake is not what God want us to do.

WHY god borrow us all these thing? Is that so we can abuse it? Is that so that we could hurt others? 

I personally believe god give us arm and leg for a greater purpose,greater than writing perverted blog or walking to a strip club. God give hand for doctors to heal, farmer to harvest crop, policeman to arrest thug and Keough to slap you when you don't read my blog when I update it. 

 Thanks for reading today's episode of Apple Waffle. Chill out, I'm Keough and my body belong to God.

FAT ASS

          Hello motherf*cker mother-loving-people,I know I have been neglecting my blog and haven't been sticking to my schedule (every Monday and Friday). Well, I'm gonna use the political turmoil in Egypt as excuse (even thought I don't live in Egypt). So........long time no see. II see you grown a beard.Nice beard you got there. I will try my best to update my blog as frequently as I have sex a boner.

         So here I was as poor as church mouse,so my ingenious plan is to mothingf*cking invest my some-what mearge amount of my motherfucking cash into MSG-rich and non-healthy instant food a.k.a motherfu*cking instant noodle a.k.a  shitty-crap..I bought  4 packet of shitty-crap,and for the record,I hate instant noodle,I only eat them when I'm bloody poor (or when I see a flying panda). Then a motherf*cking fat bastard stare at me and my shitty crap. Hey fat bastard, stop staring at me,go stare someone else ,fat ass. Never see people buying instant noodle in excessive amount,is it???? Never see an awesome-blogger with tiny genital buy food,is it? Just do me a favor by not eye-balling me and go lick a flying panda genital.

Flying panda is real,as real as my love toward Jew

         Thank for reading todays's episode of Apple Waffle. Chill out, I'm Keough and don't eat thick gravy meal when your in formal wear because it tend to dirty your shirt.now excuse me as i need to wash my formal cloth...

YOUR MAMA

Yo mama is so ugly she walked into a huanted house and came out with an application.

Yo mamma's so poor, a burgler broke into her house and left her some money. 

Yo mamma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed five minutes of the show!

Yo mamma's so fat, she tripped over a rock and fell asleep trying to get up!

Yo mama so FAT, she got hit by a bus, and said 'who threw that rock at me?!'

Your Mommmas so poor that when some kid stole her skate board she said "Hey who took the family car?"

Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!

Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind

Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Chill out... and who am I? I'm your MAMA!

SIFU OF BRUTALITY

Life is a harsh teacher,it let you receive the full-blown impact and mud of mishaps and catastrophe before it teach you anything. In my 21 years old of being the disciple of Life the Sifu,here is a few thing I learnt the hard way.



No1 : Don't bring hand-phone to the beach

the beach is Hand phone natural-predator

This is really the ultimate rule of the sea,no matter how effing careful you are, a slight push from the back , a small bump on the sand,a tiny patch of mossy stone, a strong waves,that's all it takes to make u fall ,to make your hp drop in to the unforgiving salty water. (Is it wrong to like drinking sea-water? coz I have like 5-6 mouthful of it while drowning/swimming and I like the taste). I've been to Pangkor Island recently and it is safe to say that 25% of my mates hand phone have been heavily injured by the sea. This solemn unexpected tragedy cast a slight pal to the vacation.(if you listen carefully enough,you could hear the sepulchral tone that come from my room during midnight about  broken hand phone and having a small dick)

No2 : Not everyone share the same sense of humor as you

be as silent as this random-shitty guy fromSilent Hill

What might be considered funny to some may be insulting to others. I personally believe some people are born funny,and some people don't. At times you might score a big hit with the crowd,most of the times you looks just plain stupid,at worst a moronic weirdo. Why bothers to be funny when you ain't got it take. Comedian are born funny. Stop trying to be funny coz you end up looking stupid. There is this old saying that goes something like this,which i'm not really sure how exactly it was :

"Speech is silver"

"Silent is gold"

or maybe you like my version better?

 "Speech is pasar-malam croc shoe"

"Silent is original-nike-shoe with extended warranty" 

Do nike shoe have warranty anyway? I dont know,never bought them,shallow pocket. So my point is,no need to yap when there is no reason to yap. Some sentences that you should never say unless held at gunpoint are:

"Lick my dick"

"Suck my ball"

"Kiss my cock..fag"

Bcoz this words is sexually offensive and raunchy in nature. No matter how voluptuous you are,  DO NOT USE IT AT ALL COST. I REPEAT,DO NOT USE IT AT ALL COST

(unless you are prepare to face the consequences/ass-kickin or you're born evil and have 10 life insurance)

No3.  Scanner can be a bitch (or in a more polite word :"biatch")

Scanner=whore

I spend like two hours on my assignment, scanning stuff then only to be disappointed by my effing scanner when suddenly the mother-effing scanner program crash. After that,it keep crashing every 10 minutes. Yup,that's a biatch scanner alrite.. Since I'm already tired of the crashing-fiesta in the old computer, I try to install the Scanner software into my own trusted laptop.Easy rite? in theory,this shud fix everything rite?

WRONG!

My OS (window 7) cannot support the bloody software bcoz the software predated my OS. I was like What the fish fuck? I guess being technologically advance have it down side. I guess its time to throw out my i-pod and use the good old radio...

Thx for reading today's episode of Apple Waffle. I'm Keough and you are awesomely awesome.