SIFU OF BRUTALITY

Life is a harsh teacher,it let you receive the full-blown impact and mud of mishaps and catastrophe before it teach you anything. In my 21 years old of being the disciple of Life the Sifu,here is a few thing I learnt the hard way.



No1 : Don't bring hand-phone to the beach

the beach is Hand phone natural-predator

This is really the ultimate rule of the sea,no matter how effing careful you are, a slight push from the back , a small bump on the sand,a tiny patch of mossy stone, a strong waves,that's all it takes to make u fall ,to make your hp drop in to the unforgiving salty water. (Is it wrong to like drinking sea-water? coz I have like 5-6 mouthful of it while drowning/swimming and I like the taste). I've been to Pangkor Island recently and it is safe to say that 25% of my mates hand phone have been heavily injured by the sea. This solemn unexpected tragedy cast a slight pal to the vacation.(if you listen carefully enough,you could hear the sepulchral tone that come from my room during midnight about  broken hand phone and having a small dick)

No2 : Not everyone share the same sense of humor as you

be as silent as this random-shitty guy fromSilent Hill

What might be considered funny to some may be insulting to others. I personally believe some people are born funny,and some people don't. At times you might score a big hit with the crowd,most of the times you looks just plain stupid,at worst a moronic weirdo. Why bothers to be funny when you ain't got it take. Comedian are born funny. Stop trying to be funny coz you end up looking stupid. There is this old saying that goes something like this,which i'm not really sure how exactly it was :

"Speech is silver"

"Silent is gold"

or maybe you like my version better?

 "Speech is pasar-malam croc shoe"

"Silent is original-nike-shoe with extended warranty" 

Do nike shoe have warranty anyway? I dont know,never bought them,shallow pocket. So my point is,no need to yap when there is no reason to yap. Some sentences that you should never say unless held at gunpoint are:

"Lick my dick"

"Suck my ball"

"Kiss my cock..fag"

Bcoz this words is sexually offensive and raunchy in nature. No matter how voluptuous you are,  DO NOT USE IT AT ALL COST. I REPEAT,DO NOT USE IT AT ALL COST

(unless you are prepare to face the consequences/ass-kickin or you're born evil and have 10 life insurance)

No3.  Scanner can be a bitch (or in a more polite word :"biatch")

Scanner=whore

I spend like two hours on my assignment, scanning stuff then only to be disappointed by my effing scanner when suddenly the mother-effing scanner program crash. After that,it keep crashing every 10 minutes. Yup,that's a biatch scanner alrite.. Since I'm already tired of the crashing-fiesta in the old computer, I try to install the Scanner software into my own trusted laptop.Easy rite? in theory,this shud fix everything rite?

WRONG!

My OS (window 7) cannot support the bloody software bcoz the software predated my OS. I was like What the fish fuck? I guess being technologically advance have it down side. I guess its time to throw out my i-pod and use the good old radio...

Thx for reading today's episode of Apple Waffle. I'm Keough and you are awesomely awesome.