HI YAAALSS <<shoot dat creature before it lay eggs!!!

i'm Pumpkin, the blog owners' fiance...ohh i know how annoyed you can be when reading this.

first... am not a grammar nazi like keough cough...cough....

second..... am not funny like him.

fourth..... (where is the third? aa forget it. am so tired to the point am becoming a retard) am a retard who will-write-fourth-without-stating-the-third kind of tard) am being forced to write this shite while am struggling with"to eat or not to eat" mood. =________=

All of my entire life I've been struggling with fat.. I am fat since I am an unfertilized ovum (staaahhhpppp!!!! don't say any further!!!!)
yeah... I am FAT until now. I am on effing diet since i am 5 years old. on and off. fat and skinny and borderline fat.
I love to eat.... I eat when am happy...when am busy....when am bored.... but I will never eat when I feel like I have to go rot.

Here is several thing that I did to keep me in shape:
1. do nothing- so that I will not get hungry... but I owez hungry after 2 hour of nohingness
2. be jealous at the skinny girl and curse them behind their back (I think they are hypocrite... they love to eat but they just want to make me miserable by being skinny..showing off their bones)
3. binge eating and 'accidentally' throw back (I will never do that again cuz it is a waste of money.. It's a prove that I sometimes can be stupid.. at least I admit it. unlike YOU )
4. look at Denka's picture (am jealous to the point I can't look at her anymore)
5. exercise twice a year..... *keough smack me from behind
6. makes my self emo for the tiniest reason. (but I can't be emo more than 1 hour by my self.. I have break a record being emo for 5 hour when Keough took my car to bring his retarded friend to Puchong when the car has no road tax)

so there is 6 tips for keep your self miserable skinny.
HAVE FUN WITH YOUR PUBIC PUBLIC HOLIDAY WHEN AM SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING.. bye loosers!!

LACKADAISICAL EULOGY FOR THE VIRGIN MIND

I guess I am closet anarchist
I never believe in law and justice,if I did,it stopped long time ago.
You think law could protect you?
Law only serves money and power.
Law corrupt.
I follow no law but my own.
I don’t give a damn about your law.
I am the master of myself and master of the world
And in my world,you are just piece of worthless shite,an unintelligent carbon compound, dispensable
and valueless.

Justice is illusion , championed without meaning,uphold blindly without real value.

Good men shy away when evil lurk in open.Atrocity in broad daylight goes unpunished.Thats how the world work lad,and what you gonna do about it?

Benediction of a Dagger

Have you ever met someone so disgustingly loathsome and rude and you want to bang her skull sideway to the wall until the SKULL break and the brain reduce to a liquid puddle and dance on the corpse to the tune of gangnam style? Meet my dishonorable sister a.k.a royal bitch of Bitchland. You may be my sister but in Apple Waffle,when you get on my nerve,you REEEEEEEEAALLY get it.The rudeness in the way she spoke to me left me scratching my hair,my armpit hair,pubic hair and anal hair. (not that I have anal hair…)

*AppleWaffle cameraman shout in background* "but you do have anal hair..I know this for a fact bcoz you are always NAKED on the camera!"

and to ANYONE who don’t like what they read here, 

DON’T BOTHER TO READ THIS 

FGSHHGSKNUGBIPNGNMOFANNGOAGMPO 

FUCK YOU!!

Go watch internet pornography or whatever. We all know you like midget porn the most.

Where was I? Sorry for the sudden outburst, I just hate it when people condemn my writing. I MEAN,

I NEVAH JUDGE YOUR WRITING,WHY SHOULD YOU JUDGE MY WRITING,THIS IS MY BLOG,I COULD DO WHATEVER DAMN THING I WANT,GO WRITE YOUR OWN BLOG GOD DAMNTIT, 

FOR FUCKSAKE ASUHSIFTGUY

Have to let that one out,sorry again for the sudden outburst back to the story. I mean so what,I call my own sister bitch,if you act like one,you will entitle to said title. FOR FUCK SAKE WHY YOU ALL KEEP JUDGING ME,IM NOT PERFECT OK…..SAKHGS,YHFCGSDBAEKLVHJVHNFD,ZS VHK

*Gordon Ramsay suddenly come and SLAP Keough and said,"Calm down Keough,get a grip"*

After a few round of weed,unprotected sex, antidepressant medication,antipsychotic medication,3 years of rehab in mental institution, Keough return and continue writing this blog.

Stupid people like my sister don’t want any help and they don’t know they are stupid. The best thing to do is don’t get involve in their stupidity,or you be stooopid yourself. You stay away from stupid people,plant landmine around your house. If they ever try to come near you,engage with missile strike from predator. Do a double tap,kill her and the rescuer who try to save the dead body.  OR do a double double tap, you kill her,the first rescuer,the second rescuer and the third rescuer that try to save the body of first and second rescuer. OR you could just use nuclear weapon you bought from RUSSIA. I don’t think you should use nuclear weapon thought,because you might be also killed from the explosion.

Did anyone got headache reading this? I got headache writing this. Thanks for watching today’s episode of Apple Waffle,. My name is Keough and I love you,so sex after?