Guardian of the Hooker Bar

The funny thing about security guard in Malaysia (and I'm not talking about the nepal security guard,they are good) is they will find the most cripple,senile or woman person to do the job. What,you age is just 73? Welcome aboard! Here is your baton, your uniform and your newspaper and you are good to go. Whistle? Oh no, we don't have budget for that. Paper-spray? Buy it yourself.

Photo of Keough while he is in Afghanistan, trying to defend Iraq.Death to America!

Come on,man. How do you expect this senile/ cripple /obese woman to guard something when they are that disabled? I once saw a security guard that is so thin,a gentle breeze would fly him away.

Now that we have identified the problem, let proceed to the solution. Here is my suggestion/job-advertisement for security officer.

VERY URGENT REQUIRED

SECURITY OFFICER

• Strictly Male
• Have six-pack and buff
• Must at least know wing chun or have a black belt in karate
• Age 22-40
• Minimum on year experience in Afghanistan
• Able to kill with just stare.
• Good knowledge in adobe photoshop CS5 
• Able to read,write and explain String Field Theory

  


Thanks for wathcing today's episode of Apple Waffle. My name is Earl Keough and I sometimes blush when I look at my own photo.