Introvert guide to Party

Party,if you get invited to one ,good for you. Party is where you get to eat unlimited food with myriad choice.What could go wrong Sir Keough? Free food,free drink and you are good to go. WRONG WONG WRONG. Party is where you sit like dumbfuck for 30 minutes or more trying to strike a conversation with strangers. Some considered this as 3rd level of hell. So here is an introvert guide to party.

1. Eat slowly, so you have something to do for the next 30 minutes

2. Drink slowly ,same reason with above.

3. Don’t have eye contact with other woman

4. Don’t sit beside married lady

5. Don’t sit beside single lady

6. Don’t sit beside a photo of single lady

7. Don’t sit when they play the song ‘Single Lady” by Beyonce

8. Crawl Sit as far as possible from other people

9. Don’t try to make any joke,you probably gonna screw it up anyway.

10. Resist the urge to talk to anyone

11. Smile at people passing by


Since I know most of your brain is smaller than mine, this is all.