Pumpkin Kidnapped

*THIS IS A PHONE CALL CONVERSATION BETWEEN KEOUGH AND A KIDNAPPER* 

kidnapper : Hello, my name is bakabaka-kidnpapper, but you can call me Mr Douchebag. Your daughter life is in my hand

keough : hi there, nice to meet you Douchebag. How are you?

kidnapper : i'm fine, thank you.errrrr...wait...I SAID YOUR DAUGHTER'S LIFE IS IN MY HAND

keough : life is something abstract, you cannot possibly REALLY hold a life in your hand,could you?

Kidnapper : FINE, I don't have your daughter life in my hand. But if you don't pay the ransom, I will slit your daughter throat and dump her body  in Klang River after cutting her into tiny bite size pieces using chainsaw. Satisfied?

Keough : Yes! I'm satisfied. Yes! Yes! But how do I know it's my daughter? not some random-bangla daughter?

Kidnapper : good point, I never thought of that. This is my first time in the kidnapping industry. Please be gentle.

Keough : since this your first day, I forgive you ok. don't do it again next time ok?

kidnapper : ok

Keough : well, may I pease talk to my daughter

Kidnapper : sure you can, please talk with her

Keough : suddenly I don't want to talk anymore

Kidnapper : damn, don't mess around with me, you want your daughter alive or not?

Keough :  Why so serious? joking only lar. anyway, don't kill my daughter yet. I'm willing to do anything to save her which doesn't involve me physically or mentally harm and doesn't involve me giving up pole-dancing. How much you want?

Kidnapper : 20 cent

Keough : WTF? 20 cent??!! too cheap. My daughter life is not that cheap. I won't pay unless you increase the price

Kidnapper : Hmm....Rm100,000?

 

Keough : still too cheap

Kidnapper : RM 200,000?

Keough : try a bit higher lar...haiya

Kidnapper : RM 500,000 

Keough : RM 1,000,000 take it or leave it..my final offer

Kidnapper: errr....ok

Keough : so..how I'm gonna give you the money?

Kidnapper : pay cash . I give you one hour from now. My guys will pick the money at Jalan Anjing Kencing.

Keough : stupid arr  you? One hour is not enough. You know how far is the bank?? then cari parking lagi,take time mah. In the bank have to queue, also take time mah. Idiot lar you.idiot dumb dumb one.no wonder your mom name you bakabaka-kidnapper.

Kidnapper : sorry lar, this is my first day doing crime.please be gentle. just tell me lor when you ready. I call you again ar?

Keough :  Ok. talk to you later. take care. I love you

Kidnapper : you take care too. I love you too.....errr... I mean...uhhh...I DON'T LOVE YOU!! (my chemical romance,beli cd ori tau)..bapuk arr you?? nevermind. Good day Mr Uthayakumar

Keough : Wait.what you say? My name is Keough. Not Mr Uthayakumar.

Kidnapper: ..sorry..wlong number