Love Guru

I'm Guru  Kari Kapla IkhanTandooriKalaripayatSilambamKabaddiVanngeVanakam .I'm here to help all your love problem.I have a  Degree in Human Relationship and double Master in Sex and Love.I graduated from University of Maenkayu Tiga in French.Lets read what you bit*h and fcukers (and nigger) write to me today.

Sexy lady99 :

Dear,Guru Kari Kapla Ikhan,my boyfriend cheat on me behind my back.What should I do.I'm so sad and I really love him.

Guru Kari: 
Always make sure your BF stand in front of you.That way,he can never cheat behind your back.duh...

Big Ball Dude:

My GF always ask for sex.  I cannot tahan anymore.Plus I have to focus on my career too.  My ball used to be as big as coconut,now like ping pong. How do I solve my sex-problem?

Guru Kari: 
Buy her sex toys.size XXXL pink color.Keep the warranty in case  she broke it.

Romantic Guy:

I love miss A,but I am really clueless on how to show or give hint that i love her.What is the best thing for me to do to get her attention? Im really desperate.Thanx Guru Kari   for your attention.

Guru Kari: 

That's easy,follow my advise and you will have your dream girl in no time at all.
Step one,give her gifts,but don't sent it directly to her.Give it through someone else.Leave it on her desk.She sure wanna know the mysterious guy.
Step two,don't be horny around her.Girl hate horny guy.
Step three,play your cool card. Don't be rushing and too desperate.Be patient,remember,play cool card and she will like you even more.

Thanks for reading today's episode of Apple Waffle.Chill out. I'm Keough and I don't have blue jizz.